Upon realising that his girlfriend of a year has never been satisfied
in bed, Andy (Josh Meyers) asks his friends and a bunch of strangers how he could improve.
So I decided to watch this film because the title annoyed me
and then the film managed to annoy me just like I thought it would. There is no
set way to have sex with a woman that is guaranteed to work, people don’t work like
that. While I am willing to accept that there are probably things that are liked
by the majority of women, it’s such an individual thing that you can’t just use
the same ‘technique’ (don’t even get me started, I hate that bloody word) on
every woman and expect it to work. Women are not like computer games and once
you have the cheat codes then you’re set. What women like (and people in
general) is going to be specific to them and if you’re going to be having sex
with someone then you’re going to have to step up and figure out what it is
they like and not just assume you know because whoever you’ve had sex with
before liked something. Communication. You are not a mind reader (unless you
are, in which case, feel free to ignore) so the only way you’re going to know if what
you’re doing is everything your sexual partner wants is if you check with them.
I’m not saying you need to sit down and hammer out a list (although some people
do and that’s probably the easiest way to do it, really) but just ask so then you know whether or not your partner is satisfied. And this works the other way too, you’ve
got to tell your partner if you’re not liking what they’re doing or if you’d
prefer them to do something a bit differently. Or even just to say ‘keep up the
good work’. You’ve got to communicate with each other or neither of you are
going to be happy or totally satisfied.
Right, so now that I’ve imparted by wisdom, I’ll get back to
the film.
Uuuugggh, such a shit film. I mean, honestly. You’ve been
together a year and you’re only now realising that she hasn’t been enjoying the
sex? And you, Lauren (Krysten Ritter), you’ve been with him a year and you’ve
never told him that you’ve not being enjoying it? I don’t understand this at
all. And I don’t understand why he was asking all these strangers about what
women like instead of just asking his fucking girlfriend what she would like
him to do! Aargh, I am so frustrated.
2/10
"Sex on the desk. Messy.
ReplyDeleteForgot his anniversary. Tit.
Guys having sex just seems weird.
"We don't need foreplay." What.
3 or 4 minutes of foreplay, haaa, what.
"Is Andy a sex-train with precious cargo?" What are these words that you're saying.
Why isn't she telling him what he's doing wrong?
A two pump chump? Excellent.
I don't get why men like lesbians. Is it just because they don't have to do anything?
I don't believe these women are actually lesbians. Look at your nails, come on now.
Are you just talking directly to her breasts? Are guys actually like this?
"I will punch him in the face if you have one single doubt." Ok, so you're clearly my favourite character.
"You look thinner. You look amazing." What, how rude.
His eyes are enchanting.
'Does he take care of you?' People are not meek little creatures who need to be taken care of, argh.
Of course she has her doubts, you are such a dick.
Oh for god sake, why can't people talk about things without getting defensive?
"Get your asses in the car or Jesus doesn't love you." HA.
Being taught how to help a woman orgasm by a child. Oh god and now by your whole family, that is awkward.
I don't understand why you're asking all these strangers and not just asking. your. fucking. girlfriend.
Go and talk to her now. DO IT. Oh my god, don't fight with her. What a ridiculously horrible thing to shout at her. And in public too. Absolute dick.
Don't get back with him, don't do it.
Well, at least the sex is amazing now."