Day 127: Storage 24

A plane crashed over London and it was carrying some pretty extraterrestrial cargo. The alien escapes into a storage facility and terrorises a group of people who are stuck inside. The group is made up of a man who lives in one of the storage units because his ex-wife has taken all his money, a pretty boy who thinks he’s a wise guy, a woman who is up for killing anybody, a woman who left her boyfriend of 5 years after cheating on him with his best friend, the man she left, and the best friend. So, all in all, a pretty friendly bunch.

I’m trying to restrain myself from writing about cheating because I know I’m all preachy and act like I’m above everyone else but. Cheating on your boyfriend with his best friend? What a shitty thing to do. And you, guy, how could you do that to your best friend? Absolute dick. I don’t get people.

Anyway. The film was alright. I liked the storage facility setting, it gave it a very claustrophobic and labyrinth-like feel. The alien itself was good enough, crazy strength and agility are both good factors. The acting was alright, nothing special. I wouldn’t watch it again but I’d not try to convince anyone else not to watch it.

6/10

Day 126: A Royal Affair

Christian VII (Mikkel Boe Følsgaard) is controlled by his Council and is left with practically no control, until he finds a friend in Johann Struensee (Mads Mikkelsen). As his personal physician and confidant, Johann has considerable influence over the King and he carefully directs him in ways that will better care for the people of Denmark. However, he falls in love with the Queen, Caroline Mathilde (Alicia Vikander), and this is eventually used against them to reinstate the old laws and remove any thoughts of looking after the people.

People are like sheep. Johann clearly did so much for them and they loved him but as soon as the nobles began spreading fear about the safety of the King, they were all against him. All he did was try to improve conditions for the people and take away power from the rich ones who didn’t care about those ‘lower’ than them. It’s always so easy to turn a crowd. People individually will usually question things but as a group they are absolutely useless and will follow the lead of the loudest and most insistent voice.

The story between Caroline and Johann was wonderful. They could talk to each other and share ideas that they both held about the future of Denmark. As the Queen she had little in the way of mental stimulation but along came Johann and his influence over the King allowed her to move away from the restrictions of her title and to have power over important matters, and to do what she thought was right. And the two were so clearly in love, the acting was just perfect. When they were dancing I was just so caught up in it, it really was a pleasure to watch.

Such a beautiful film. I think I’m actually a little bit in love with it, if I’m honest. I’ve never seen a Danish film before but if they’re anything like this one, I will have to watch more. The acting was wonderful, the dialogue was perfect, the costumes were beautiful, and it was paced brilliantly so that it allowed you to immerse yourself in the story. I can’t say enough good things about this film. I want to watch it again.

9/10

Day 125: Asylum

After her husband gets a job as a psychiatrist in a Psychiatric hospital, Stella (Natasha Richardson) finds herself drawn to one of the patients. Edgar (Marton Csokas) was hospitalised after he brutally murdered and decapitated his wife after she cheated on him, and he now spends his time fixing up Stella’s glasshouse and giving her many orgasms.

Now, I understand that she’s lacking passion in her life (her husband is a patronising bastard and I’m sure the only sex they have is perfunctory) and that this handsome stranger who just has sex with her right there out in the open is everything she's ever wanted when it comes to sex but can we just take a step back and look at what’s actually happening. You know he’s a patient, which means he is still undergoing treatment which means he is currently still not wholly well so engaging in any relationship with him is not going to be great for him or you. You also know why he’s a patient, you know that he gets incredibly jealous and that he killed his wife because of it. I’m not really sure why you’d think it a good idea to get involved with him at all, even if the sex is amazing. But alright, I’m willing to accept you fell passionately in love with him (of which I saw no evidence, acting-wise) and that the fact he’s not well doesn’t matter to you. What I’m not really sure of is what caused you to just watch as your son drowned. Were you just in such despair at being apart from Edgar that you didn’t really pay attention? Or did you not care? Did you resent your son because you wanted to be with him and with Edgar but you knew you couldn’t be with both at the same time? I just don’t know.

I’m not sure I’ve seen Natasha Richardson in anything other than The Parent Trap but she was good in this film. I didn’t really believe that she passionately loved Edgar but when she had to play dissatisfied and lonely she did it well. The film itself was a bit bland despite there being sex and death and suicide. It all just felt like it was plodding along and it wasn’t that interesting, but I was distracted so that probably had an effect.

6/10

Day 124: Robin Hood

Robin Hood steals from the rich to give to the poor and he’s mighty smug about it. Prince John has raised taxes to a crippling level and the people just can't afford to pay them, so the majority end up in jail. Prince John is only really interested in capturing Robin Hood, however, and he sets a few traps that fail miserably.

Rather than steal the occasional bundle of gold perhaps Robin Hood could’ve done something about Prince John directly, that way all the folk of Nottingham wouldn’t end up starved and in jail. Just a thought. I’m sure I used to like this film but today I just thought it was boring.

5/10

Day 123: LOL

After her boyfriend cheats on her, Lola (Miley Cyrus) realises her best friend, Kyle (Douglas Booth), likes her and she likes him too. But there’s trouble in paradise; she thinks he cheats on her and rather than have a conversation about it, they stop talking and she de-friends him on Facebook. Dramarama. Her mum reads her diary and realises her daughter has had sex (oh heavens no, the horror) and they have to try and mend their relationship.

What we have here is a clear problem in communication. You guys remember how into communication I am, right? And it’s not just about sex (although that is very important and you should be discussing things with your sexual partners, for reals), you need to communicate with the people closest to you in your life or problems will arise. Rather than shut your mum out of your life when before you had been so close, for instance, perhaps let her in on what’s happening with you. And rather than read your daughter’s diary (holy betrayal, batman) you could maybe try and talk to her in a non-judgemental way so she feels like she can share things with you. Pretty sure I’m going to be the best mum, no doubt.

The film wasn’t absolutely horrendous, despite what I was expecting. I mean, it wasn’t good at all but I was expecting much worse. It was so ridiculously teenager-y and that is a bit too much to want to pay attention to for long periods of time. But I had alcohol so I got through.

4/10

Day 122: A Fantastic Fear of Everything

While researching Victorian murderers for his new novel, Jack (Simon Pegg) becomes paranoid and spends his time obsessing about his eventual death at the hands of a murderer. After finally managing to make it outside in preparation for a meeting, everything goes a bit tits-up and his fears almost become a reality.

Yaaaawn. This film was really boring but I’m not sure why. I mean, after I read about murderers for a bit I end up getting all paranoid in much the same way. Although I’ve yet to start carrying a knife around with me and superglue my window shut. I think I was expecting it to be more interesting and that he would actually develop serious psychological problems rather than just be a bit paranoid for a while and then get better really quickly. I like my mental health issues to last a while, thank you.

4/10

Day 121: Dawn of the Dead

Zombies! People are infected by something that kills them and then… (wait for it)… brings them back. And they are angry, and bitey, and really fast. A group of strangers take refuge in a mall and try to wait out the madness that is outside.

I don’t really want to call the angry-dead people ‘zombies’ because I’m not convinced that is what they are. To me, zombies should be slow. I’m not against fast infected things but I don’t really like to call them zombies. But for ease, I’ll just stick with it. And I’m confused about the infection itself. When Ana (Sarah Polley) is checking on the bitten woman she says that she feels cold. Usually in these films the person burns up after they’ve been bitten because their body is trying to fight off the infection but obviously the infection is too strong and they die anyway. So how was she cold? Was it meant to be that this infection was just so fast that the body didn’t even have a chance to fight it? I’d like to know what the significance of that was.

When CJ (Michael Kelly) didn’t want to let the people in the truck into the mall, I thought he had the right idea. That’s how I’d handle it if I was in that situation. You can’t just be letting people in when you don’t know if they’re infected or what they’re like. A lot of people in these kinds of scenarios act in just the most awful ways and it’s not safe to include them when you really don’t know them. I guess what I’m saying is, don’t come knocking if there’s a zombie apocalypse because I won’t help you. It is what it is.

I’ve not seen the original film so I can’t compare them. I did like this; the acting was good, the zombie deaths were excellent, and there were explosions. Always a fan of explosions.

7/10