'The Separation' by Christopher Priest

This is the first book I’ve read in the new year and so I was enthusiastic about it, hoping it would signal a year of great books to be devoured. I’m not saying that I was disappointed and I’m not saying that I’m not disappointed (wonderful grasp of English there) but I am feeling confused. I’ll get to that though, first up I should perhaps talk a little of what the book was about. It will definitely contain spoilers because I just cannot write about it without doing so. If you do read it after reading this, I can’t imagine the spoilers will really hinder your enjoyment dramatically.

Set in varying time periods (before, during, and well after World War II) the book describes an alternate history. But then, does it actually? Confusion from the off! The first character we are presented with, Stuart Gratton, is attempting to find out about a ‘Sawyer’ that was referenced by Churchill during the war and he plans on writing a book about this apparent mystery person. Sawyer is not one person, however, but in fact identical twins with essentially the same name: J.L. Sawyer. Parents and their perverse amusements in keeping twins similar reigns here but obviously it was necessary to the story in order to aid the intense confusion felt throughout. During the war, one of the twins (Jack) becomes a RAF pilot and the other (Joe) a conscientious objector working for the Red Cross. The twins both (separately) spend time with Winston Churchill and Rudolf Hess throughout the book, to different ends; one to recover important information and the other to help negotiate peace between Britain and Germany.

However, as simple (?) as that paragraph may make it seem in reality it is nothing like that. The book is an effort to read and not one you can skim through if you want to follow it properly. We’re given different strands of reality that we cannot anchor in any way to something tangible so we have to accept the stories presented for some time until they are later evidenced to be false. I’m not even really sure how to tackle any of it here and as I was reading it I became increasingly aware how horrendous it was going to be to try and review it but I shall thrash out some words anyway. We’ll start with Jack’s story as that is the most straightforward.

Jack became estranged from his brother after an intense argument about which I’m going to assume was Brigit, the woman they helped escape from Germany and who Joe married. He was interested in flying from a young age and decided to join the RAF for the war effort (despite showing no interest in politics from earlier descriptions which made me doubt that Jack was Jack, I thought perhaps it might have been Joe). A very successful pilot, he survived many raids and bombed many areas of Germany for his troubles. On his last bombing raid his plane was hit and crashed into the sea, injuring Jack but not killing him (in this reality strand). He spends time recovering and is later asked by Churchill to talk to Hess, who had landed in Scotland apparently seeking peace. He complies and comes to the conclusion that the prisoner is an imposter and not Hess himself. He also believes the Churchill he spends time with to also be an imposter. I’m having trouble remembering what else happened with Jack because Joe’s storyline is the one containing all the mind-boggling confusion. He left the war behind, anyway, and worked the rest of his days as a head of some business. Had the book just been about Jack and the events surrounding his life, I’d have liked that. It was interesting and made me look into aspects of the war I hadn’t even known about before. But that was obviously not to be.

Then we have Joe. He is staunchly against war and wishes to have no part in it (but then later he is itching to have some role and continually makes reference to feeling proud to be British). He does however work for the Red Cross and spends much of his time ferrying injured civilians to various hospitals. His story is much more engaging in that it draws you right into the heart of the Blitz and the descriptions of London at the time of the bombings is haunting and emotive. While helping as best he can, he also tries to maintain a semblance of family life with his wife but it is difficult as he is away for long stretches of time. Upon finding a RAF cap in his home he believes his wife is having an affair with his brother which he thinks to be confirmed when she tells him that Jack has been visiting from time to time. He becomes increasingly more paranoid and things aren’t helped when he suffers a concussion that leaves him experiencing lucid delusions. As time goes on he becomes more unsure as to what is reality and what is a delusion, and we get no insight into either as both reality and delusion are equally probable. The only clue we’re given is the appearance of Jack. Joe is invited to take part in the secret peace talks taking place between Germany and Britain. He is given great importance in the proceedings, with Hess and Churchill both taking an active interest in him. Peace is later decided upon and he goes home to be with his wife and newborn child. Or does he?

Joe’s delusion of playing an important role in the peace talks between Germany and Britain make sense for his character; he is feeling powerless and neglected in his own life, so it would be understandable that his unconscious outlet would involve holding a significant position in the most important event in the (alternate) history of the time. The whole way through the book I was hoping that Jack and Joe were actually the same person and that Jack (or Joe) was suffering a psychological crisis which would explain his behaviour. That, to me, would’ve been a more satisfying resolution to the various realities presented within the book but it is an easy resolution and is used frequently within fiction. The Separation was definitely more daring than that and for the most part I would say it was successful.

However, there was just too much happening in the book for me. I do like being confused by what I’ve read but it’s usually followed by a spark of understanding. With this I’m just confused. There was no resolution to anything (which is obviously fine in itself, the author doesn’t owe anything to the reader there) and the way it ended made it impossible to understand the true nature of events. I’m talking Inception levels of impossibility – did the spinning top fall or not? I dislike the “it was all a dream” trope because it robs you of the emotion and time you’ve invested in characters and what has happened to them. We’re taken along on this journey through an alternate history but then it’s realised that it was all dreamt by an unconscious, wounded man. I find that intensely frustrating because like I said, I’m robbed of my experience of what has happened.

To add further confusion, at the very start of the book, a woman presents Stuart Gratton with a series of notebooks that are filled with the writings of Jack Sawyer. This suggests he survived and would lend support to his version of events. However, another crew member on his flight that crashed into the sea states that he died. Nothing can be accepted. If nothing can be accepted then what is the point? Yes, the book has brilliant descriptions of life during the war and the characters are fleshed out expertly but if every experience is a lie and can’t be trusted then really, what is the point?

The writing was wonderful and I did enjoy reading it but I take issue with there being no acceptable reality ever present. Looking through the reviews on Goodreads the book does seem to polarise people and I can see why. Definitely read it and then maybe explain it to me because I’ve probably missed something.

7/10

Day 3: My Neighbour Totoro

A simple film that deals with the sadness of having an ill parent and the disruption associated with it. I’d imagine the feeling of simplicity was only managed because the film was animation, had it not been it would’ve felt heavy. Perhaps too heavy. With this film you could see how the family were affected but without it becoming a terrible weight upon them. They could still enjoy things and laugh but at the same time keep with them the pain felt for their absent mother. It’s not always easy to see past your own pain and realise what is around you. My Neighbour Totoro portrayed a side to pain you don't always see and I loved it for that.

I was taking notes as I was watching (and by taking notes I mean typing the odd thought into my phone) and the first was “Almost sickeningly happy family”. The Dad was really great despite having to work and look after his energetic children all by himself and the kids were happy and laughing which apparently to my brain said ‘ugh, too much’. But I think that’s just because you never really see that; just pure enjoying-the-moment. I find I can’t really enjoy something until after it happened and I’ve had time to really think about it. Did I have a good time? I can’t tell when I’m in amongst it, I need to take a step back and digest what happened. But then by that time the moment has passed. This, I think, explains my behaviour when I’ve been drinking. I know I’m supposed to be enjoying myself so I amp myself up to dizzying heights but then afterwards I know I didn’t really have a good time and I was just kidding myself throughout. I'm quite envious of the children here and wish I could be similar.

Anyway, back to the film. The family have moved to a new home to be closer to their mother who is in hospital. The children spend their time exploring their new surroundings while their Dad sets up the house and they discover soot sprites which is their first brush with the supernatural. They don’t seem to terrify them which is quite opposite to the effect they had on me.  As the elder sister heads off to school the younger spends her time exploring. She discovers little totoros and follows them through the woods near her house. They lead her to the large totoro which she immediately loves and calls Totoro. Unfortunately when she tries so show her sister and Dad they can’t find them again but this is explained as being because the creatures only show themselves when they want to and only to children. The bond the girls form with Totoro is a strong one and after the younger sister goes missing, it and the cat bus (I know, I know) help to find her again.

A cat bus. A bus that is a cat. What I think is brilliant here is that had an adult seen the cat bus they’d have freaked out or thought they were ill but the children just accepted it (and even ride in it later). Children are naturally more open to things, perhaps because they’ve not been taught to discount anything that doesn't make sense. In the film the children are the only characters to see the creatures which could suggest that adults are closed off to the magic in the world around them. Much like in Terry Pratchett’s Discworld series, people don’t let themselves see what makes no sense in their lives. A bus that is a cat? No, thank you, I’ll just carry on believing it’s the wind. I'd like to think had I seen the cat bus I'd have remained calm but in all honesty, the damn thing terrified me. It looks demented. Do not like.

There’s a theory floating around about this film which puts a decidedly darker spin on the Totoro, claiming that it is the Angel of Death. It uses as support a story of the death of two girls in Japan. Apparently the younger was found stabbed to death and the elder babbles something about a big ‘raccoon’, which is supposed to be Totoro. I can understand the appeal of such a story and the film itself would make quite a bit of sense if that were the case but the theory has been refuted by Studio Ghibli so if they say that’s not what it is, then that’s not what it is. The events in the film are presented without trying to portray any hidden story of murder and it still remains a strong story in itself. While I might've liked a darker depth to the story, it is great by itself and I would definitely watch it again and enjoy it much the same.

8/10

Day 2: Weekend

The film today has rather upset me. I don’t know how often people feel like a film has just captured something they couldn’t express before but that has happened to me with this film. Oh, it is so beautiful. I’m going to find it difficult to talk about this in a coherent manner but I’ll try my darndest.

The synopsis provided by IMDb goes like this: “After a drunken house party with his straight mates, Russell heads out to a gay club. Just before closing time he picks up Glen but what’s expected to be just a one-night stand becomes something else, something special.”

While it provides a straightforward summary of the facts it does little in the way of letting you know how wonderful this “something special” really is. We first see Russell with his straight friends, as the synopsis says, but it’s clear right off the bat that while he’s happy enough with them he wants something else. You get the feeling (later confirmed) that he doesn’t feel comfortable in himself around them, like he can’t be open about all aspects of who he is. I immediately cared for Russell here, I think because I saw a lot of myself in him. I’m fine enough with my friends but I don’t feel like I can really be open and talk about things as much as maybe I’d like to. Which is absolutely no fault of theirs and definitely my own thing but I just don’t really feel like I can talk about certain things. But I have trouble talking about a whole host of things so it’s not like that is a new or particularly special problem for me.

The men meet in a club but the first we see of their being together is the next morning. They’re awkward but quickly seem to overcome it, perhaps largely because Glen asks Russell to recount their meeting and everything after so he can record it for a project dealing with how people present themselves and who they actually are. They then, over the weekend, get to know each other. But really get to know each other. I absolutely love how their relationship developed. It seemed so natural and they were so adorable with each other. I just wanted to cuddle Russell the entire way through. The connection between the two men helped Russell come to terms with so many things in his life he had clearly decided to not deal with. It didn’t feel forced at any point, every interaction between them felt painfully genuine. And I say painfully because it made me think of how guarded and shut off people are and that actually getting to know someone and letting them know you is a painful process. And one I don’t think I’ve ever really done.

They really talk, which is something that struck me. That sounds so simple but it just never happens often enough, I feel. Oh, sure, people will yammer on and on about nothing in particular but who really talks? I want to know how you’ve got to be who you are today, I want to know all the mistakes you’ve made, everything you regret and all the things you’re proud of. I want to know the little things that make you smile, what gets you through the day. I want to know how you feel when you read a horrible story in the news, whether you’re desensitised to it or whether it still kicks you in the gut. I want to know how you feel in the rain, in the snow, in the sunshine; whether you hate it and run from it or whether you love it and want to dance in it. I want to know how you react when your favourite character does something embarrassing (do you blush? Shake your head and smile?). There is so much about the human experience that I just do not understand and haven’t, I guess, opened myself up to. Partly because I just don’t have anyone I really connect with on a level that makes me feel comfortable to share little things. Who would be interested? That’s usually how I feel. Who cares how I get through the day? But I care how you get through the day. And that’s all I want to know.

I want a connection. I want to talk and I want you to listen. I want you to talk and I want to listen. Really listen. Not the half-hearted listening when we’re just thinking of what we’re going to say next. I want to take on board everything you’ve said and I want to understand how you can exist within yourself, within your life, in every day. Want isn’t enough. I need to know how you manage to survive the days and how you survive the nights. I need to know how you survive because I’m not sure I know how I do it. I don’t think I really do and I want to learn. 

“All I ever really want to know is how other people are making it through life—where do they put their body, hour by hour, and how do they cope inside of it.”  -  Miranda July

The pacing of the film was spot on. At no point did it drag but I will say, if you're one for high-speed, action-packed films then this won't be for you. It was quiet and wonderful. You were given access to a side of relationships that you don't usually see; the intimate side and it was truly lovely. You were witness to one person connecting with another person and I just think that's beautiful. Brilliant film, I can't say enough good things about it. I want to watch it again right now. I might actually just watch it again now.

10/10

Day 1: Clueless

I have seen this film many times but it still makes me laugh every time. It manages to be funny but without becoming a joke in itself or making the characters into jokes. You get the impression that while they are young and a tad on the shallow side, they are still going through important things and developing their personalities accordingly.

It is a '90s film so obviously it has to feature a makeover. While usually the makeovers always seem to be undertaken by the nasty ones, Cher and Dionne are actually nice people and don't use their popularity to bully others. Unfortunately Tai gets a little power crazy and becomes a bit of a bitch but it's temporary and she realises the error of her ways almost instantly. Also I've lost count of how many times I've seen this film but apparently this is the first time I've noticed they used coke cans as curlers. Fantastic!

I think what really makes this film better than so many other films of a similar type is that the main character is likeable even though she seems a bit clueless (ha). She clearly cares for other people and wants to see them happy despite how bad she's feeling herself. Her Dad is a big gruff lawyer type but they still have a close relationship; he takes an active interest in all aspects of her life despite being massively busy and she tries to make sure he eats right and tries to help him with an important case he's working on. She tries to help Tai feel welcome at school, albeit by dramatically overhauling her personality and appearance. Her intentions are good, which I think is important and I always like to see it.

Also, perhaps the best indication of its ability to last is the fact it is so quotable.

(I still say "way harsh" which is a direct result of watching this film)

I've fallen into a Clueless tumblr search spiral... ANYWAY. I love this film and think everyone should see it at least once in their lives.

8/10